Have you ever felt that life has no meaning and that your back is against the wall with no way out? It’s not a nice feeling and believe me, it’s one of those moments when you think that all is lost and there’s no answer in sight. This article shows you 5 key ways to lead a more fulfilling, happier and balanced life amidst some of life’s most distressing times.
With many people, coping strategies are one of the most important things they can learn or pick up for themselves. Without these coping mechanisms, one would find that life is constantly in a state of struggle, somewhat constantly in dissonance, with no end in sight.
To understand this better, the simple way to look at it is thinking of a scale and on each end, sits elements which may stress us on one end and the other end, coping methods to counter the opposite end’s weight. When the amount of coping defences equal relatively to stress factors sitting on the far end of the scale, one finds what we term as balance. However, should any end of this scale be put under more than necessary pressures causing additional weight added on, then imbalance occurs?
Simple enough, you may say. All you have to do is find that balance point. Well, easier said than done, I can assure you. Many periods or stages in life are like a vicious cycle. Whatever that was started, will eventually come one full circle and catch up with you, leaving no room for even a breath or a break.
Not to say that life always has to be so difficult. Instead, we can choose to see life in a very different way to help us find that balance point. Here are some of the ways which could lead you towards a more fulfilling and more importantly, a balanced living.
1. Begin to see life as a journey:
Why I say this is because, many people see life as a means to an end. They are always charging ahead and not taking the time to stop and smell the roses. The roses have thorns as well. Using this as a quick analogy, too many people are obsessed with the thorns that they forget to stop and notice the intrinsic beauty of the rose itself. Instead of watching the rose bloom into a wonderful sight, many are just too focused on avoiding the thorns as they pick to roses from the rose bush. When our eyes are focused on something too intently, it is easy to miss the beauty in life itself and simply enjoying the moment. Life is essentially a journey, not a sequence of train stops for you to aim for all the time.
2. Be grateful:
I know of people who complain when they cannot even find a parking lot nearest to the entrance of the shopping centre. As it is, there are 50 lots behind them just less than 50 metres away. What’s the point, you ask? My point is to be grateful for simple things in life, such as being able to drive in the first place, to have legs to walk slightly further than usual where some people don’t even have legs, to be able to have time for yourself and be outdoors taking in the fresh air where some people are bedridden and probably never have been outdoors in years. The list goes on and you get my point. Don’t complain about the small things. Take a step back and see life with bigger lenses and hopefully, lenses that are not tinted.
3. Say Thank You more often:
It’s just 2 words but it’s probably one of the hardest things to say for many people. Maybe these people feel that saying thank you is giving away a part of them that should be kept in private or for whatever other ridiculous notions. I know a few friends who think that saying thank you makes you less in stature in society and that not saying thank you is how rich people behave, somewhat expecting the world to revolve around them. When I hear this, I quickly double my efforts to be reminded to say thank you to everyone who deserves thanking, especially those who are not so often thought of being deserving of thanks, such as our food centre table cleaners. It made me wonder just the other day about how many people thanked these people who help keep our food areas clean in a single day? It won’t kill us, I ‘m sure and one thing I’m even surer of is that it’ll make that person’s day, whoever you’ve just thanked. You may just be surprised to have people thanking you in return simply because of these 2 powerful words.
4. Reflect and learn:
All too often it’s easy to be in the ‘critique’ seat, easy to pick on what went wrong or right about something or someone. But when was it the last time that you took that same moment in time and turned those ‘critique’ eyes and mentality on yourself? It’s always easy to speak of how someone behaved, reacted or said something in a certain situation. All too often, we find it hard to be the ‘critiqued’ instead or a ‘critique.’ When we set out to critique, it’s almost an assurance that we have just been a ‘pot calling the kettle black’. What we may see as a flaw in someone may very well be an obvious flaw in ourselves. The only problem is not wanting to turn those critical eyes at ourselves. Being able to stand in front of a mirror and dissecting ourselves first before doing so on others is one of the hardest things to do. However, without which, there is no point trying to improve our lives and creating a better and newer ‘me’ inside of us without these reflections. Only by reflection, can we begin to understand and learn ultimately.
5. Be resilient:
Life poses all sorts of adversity and many times, it’s only human nature to be tempted to give up at a moment’s notice of adversity. However, man was made in such a unique way that we are able to withstand almost everything (except death when the moment comes) amidst the pain and sufferings, and yet be able to survive and live to tell the tale. Giving up too early on in the game of life means not giving yourself the opportunity to live life to the fullest and taking away the intrinsic joys of reaping those rewards at the end of the day. My favourite saying is ‘What won’t kill you will only make you stronger.’ You’re alive today so that’s already a testament to your adversity quotient already.
There are more ways than these to encourage a more balanced life and you may notice that almost every action listed here starts with ourselves. This is true of any growth process and how your life turns out really is dependent on what script you are writing out for it – just life crafting a movie script. Only you can tell the tale, no one else. You need to be in charge of everything that has happened. Everything has its plan and purpose but above all, perspective is key to finding that balance point. Best of wishes in your journey towards a better life today.
Lisa Tan-Koh is a practicing Life Coach and helps individuals through coaching s